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Psychologists advise you not to apologize at work: 5 permitted phrases

At work, people sometimes lose confidence in themselves. This statement is especially true when there is a risk of not achieving the goal, or perhaps when the leader is mistaken and there is no certainty that it will be possible to replay everything. In an attempt to soften the clash and explain that the performer is imperfect, many will utter two small words that will do more harm than good: “I'm sorry!” The thing is this: when an employee has something to apologize for, he must apologize . But if an employee throws this phrase without hesitation, then he reduces the respect of others for the results of his work and casts doubt on his ability to perform work.

Regardless of the position held, the employee should be his best fan and support group, and if he is ashamed of defeat, he will not receive a well-deserved promotion and gratitude for his work.

The following are appropriate expressions for apologies, which are recommended to replace the phrases “I'm sorry!” Or “Sorry!”.

1. “Thank you for your patience”

Lauren McGoodwin, founder and CEO of Career Contessa, believes that many people (both men and women) unknowingly use "sorry" as the preface to the request. In fact, a person does not regret, but only paves the way for a request. When the request begins with the words “I apologize”, it seems that the person is not sure about it. This does not inspire confidence on the other side, so a friend or colleague is not in a hurry to fulfill it or is not preparing a serious answer to the question.

For example, if you are late for a meeting or fail to respond to an email due to personal reasons, you don’t need to apologize, but rather admit that the other party was forced to wait. To this end, it is recommended to start your proposal as follows: “Thank you for your patience ...”, and then continue the meeting or presentation.

2. “Could you explain what you mean?”

Kate Scudder, a business coach for enterprising ladies, claims that women tend to apologize. Even if the uncomfortable situation is not fully related to their effectiveness or work activity, they almost instinctively put the blame on themselves. This can happen in different cases, for example, when the employee is confused in the details of the project or the assumptions of the manager.

“If it happens that a task, instruction or idea that a colleague, employee or boss offers is not clear, then you need to ask for clarification. If you have not fulfilled your obligations, you must forbid yourself to apologize, as the reason may not be in the performer, but in the lack of information, she notes. “This will inspire everyone much more and will look like a specialist is simply requesting additional information in order to contribute by the power of his intellect to the decision being discussed.”

3. “I was wrong, but I did it without intent”

Sebena Gill, COO of Nature's Green CBD, encourages his team to use anything other than “I'm sorry” to express their guilt. She cites her mother as an example, when she missed the deadline or did not fulfill the assignment, she made an important event out of it. What does it mean? She believed that if you correctly explain your mistake, then ultimately you can achieve certain benefits for yourself.

As soon as Sebena applied this tactic on herself, she began to notice that when she was wrong in something and exaggerated the extent of her repentance, this automatically unloaded the situation. One way to do this is to admit your mistake, explain your intention and offer alternative solutions for the future.

4. “I should attract additional resources”

It happens that a person "bit off more than he could chew." Or did not understand the aspects of the research project and realized that he could not cope with something on his own. In any case, Scudder believes that there is nothing wrong with admitting this and asking for an extra pair of hands and other experts.

“When a person feels that he cannot complete the task / project, he has an instinctive desire to apologize and admit defeat. But real leaders and innovators do not feel guilty for their dead spots / shortcomings, but creatively think about the resources needed to find a solution problems, and they feel comfortable asking for help, "she explains.

5. "Let's figure it out."

No matter how professional the employee is in his work or how much he loves it, no one is immune from conflicts in the workplace. In fact, how he copes with obstacles speaks of his leadership abilities and how flexible he is in the midst of discussion. It is unreasonable to believe that everyone thinks the same about each individual project.

Kassandra Rosen, president of FK Interactive, believes that you should not always apologize for your own point of view, otherwise a person’s personal opinion will never be appreciated. She suggests not reacting emotionally to the situation and allowing the other side to consider the point of view from different angles without going over to the individual. She believes that the phrase “let's find out” forms a team and is an application to relieve stress and lead an open discussion.


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